OPEN communication and a quality relationship between parents and their children are key to preventing suicides among the young ones, say counsellors.
 
They said that parents must understand the importance of being present for their children and to allow them to express their feelings openly.
 
“When busy parents merely ask their children to tell them something about their daily routines, this is just a verbal companionship,” said LifeLine Malaysia member Ooi Gaik Ean. 

“Intimate companionship is spending time chatting with children during their private time and understanding their doubts and problems. 
 
“Simply put, we have to walk into the hearts of children,” Ooi told The Malaysian Insight. 

She warned parents against shoving digital devices to the kids when they are busy. 
 
Ooi also said teenagers, being vulnerable and sensitive, can have suicidal tendencies when their parents get divorced or when the family business fails.
 
Similar tendencies can also crop up when the family is in trouble or when a close family member dies.

Ooi’s comments are in response to the increase in teenage suicides in recent years.
 
According to police data, the number of suicide deaths among teenagers aged 15 to 18 doubled from 2019 to 2020.
 
From January to July this year, there were 638 suicides in Malaysia, compared with 262 cases during the same period last year, an increase of 376 cases.
 
Meanwhile, a registered counsellor at Bodhi Counselling, Sim Chia Wei, said parents should listen more to their children.
 
“They should give their children an equal opportunity to communicate. Listen more to their children’s problems. Sometimes it’s not that the children refuse to say what’s on their mind or in their heart; it’s often because the parents are quick to interrupt. 

“This results in the child not saying anything at all, thinking that it may be in vain,” Sim said.

Sim acknowledged that the Bodhi Counselling centre saw an increasing number of suicide counselling cases among young people ranging from aged 13 to 21 years old.

Emotional issues and anxiety
 
Charis Teong Siew Huong, who is the chief operating officer of Agape Counselling Centre in Johor Baru, suggested that parents openly talk about suicide with their children.

“I understand that in Chinese culture, we try to avoid negative issues. 

“But as long as you talk openly, you can tell your children that there are  healthy ways to deal with emotions when they are feeling down. 

“They will know to talk to their parents or to seek a counselling centre instead of forcing themselves to a dead end,” Teong said. 

For example, she proposed that parents note down topics to communicate with their children when watching the news on TV or when reading storybooks. 

“When a child is willing to say something painful, he will find that it is not as terrible as he or she imagined,” she said.

Agape Counselling Centre has set up an anti-suicide hotline in July following the observation of an increase in local suicide cases, Teong said. 

She revealed that the hotline received an average of six to 10 calls pertaining to suicide attempts a week, many of which from teenagers.

“They all display emotional problems, depression and anxiety. As for the main reason for them being in such a situation, each case has a different background.

“However, I have observed that most of the children lack the company of their parents,” Teong said. 

She said that many children’s emotions were aggravated when parents working in Singapore were unable to return during the epidemic. 

“Other cases include bullying at school, cyberbullying and Internet addiction, which makes them more reserved,” she said. 

Sim said there is no single factor in suicide attempts by young people.
 
“You cannot simply say that young people want to die due to academic pressure, or are affected by the media and drama. 
 
“Suicide is not a single cause but a combination of various factors, including the person’s personality traits, whether they are experiencing hardship or have poor interpersonal relationships.
 
“A combination of these major factors, in addition to when the person is not afraid to talk about death, will lead to a higher risk of suicide.”

Psychological tests at schools 
 
Ooi said teenagers may also often feel lonely and live their life based on mobile games. 

“And as adolescents grow under unstable hormones, they sometimes feel sad and disappointed and aren’t sure why they feel that way. 

“This causes them to impulsively hurt themselves,” she said. 

Ooi, a school counsellor for more than 20 years,  said that in the past three years, the Ministry of Education has paid more attention to suicide prevention.

The ministry has requested all schools to arrange psychological tests and provide data for students.

“The results showed that out of 1,000 students who took the test, 153 had suicidal thoughts,” Ooi said. 

“When a student has suicidal thoughts, we will first talk to the students. We conduct one-on-one counselling, understand the problem and assist them in exploring the problem in the hope that they can change their minds. 

“If there are no positive changes, we will notify their parents,” Ooi said. 

Earlier this month, at the launch of the United Nations Children’s Fund (Unicef) report – The State of World’s Children 2021, Minister of Health Khairy Jamaluddin said that the government will invest more funds to improve digital mental health services through technology. – October 26, 2021.