EVEN before they reach puberty, Muslim women are taught to obey their husbands, a narrative that must stop as it leads to domestic violence, said Sisters in Islam (SIS). 

SIS executive director Rozana Isa such ingrained thinking led the women themselves to thinking that it was acceptable for their husbands to beat them if they had misbehaved.

“The narrative of obedience is taught as we grow up. Since childhood, this figure of a husband, you don’t know what he will look like or whether he will be a decent human being, (but) you are already told you have to obey him.

“(But) what does obedience mean and where does it stop. What is the bottom line you can say no to?” Rozana said during a press conference at an international women’s rights conference in Kuala Lumpur today.

“Muslim women are told that if they misbehave, they can be beaten by their husband. This has to stop. We need to change the narrative and that Islam does not condone you being treated in a harmful way,” she added.

Many women have stopped questioning this narrative, Rozana said, adding that she was shocked by the findings in a SIS survey of over 600 Muslim women across then country.

The survey found that 21% of Muslim women surveyed said husbands have the right to hit their wives if they were “nusyuz” (disobedient or rebellious).

“It took a mufti to tell these women that it is OK if you leave your house because you were violated,” Rozana said.

“Women are so ingrained with the obedience narrative. This is how we have been told to disconnect with ourselves because at the heart of everything, what is most important is obedience to the husband.”

SIS board member Marina Mahathir, who also gave the keynote speech at the conference’s launch today, said Malaysia in general, is a hierarchical society.

“We need to put in a bigger context that we live in a hierarchical society. Obedience to any type of authority is considered the norm.

“It takes a lot of us to go against the authority. To understand that women do not deserve to be in pain is something hard to get, when they believe that is what the religion says. What we have to do is unpack that, that religion does not say such notions and that religion does support personal happiness, even when you are female.

“Islam came at the time when women were oppressed and Islam lifted that. We seem to forget that,” Marina said.

SIS’ survey, titled “Perceptions and Realities: The Public and Personal Rights of Muslim Women in Malaysia” was conducted in June with 673 women between the age of 18 and 55 from rural and urban areas across the country.

The findings are being released today at the conference organised by SIS at the Istana Hotel. The four-day conference is looking at the role of women in fighting religious extremism. – October 15, 2019.