WE are shocked, again, of the tragic news of parents suffering the death of their children. This time, we are now mourning the loss of T. Nhaveen, an 18-year-old from Penang who died on June 15. A victim of child bullying, who could have had a bright future as a music composer, he ultimately lost his life because of a group of criminals. His death exposes the uncomfortable reality that some children had to undergo in school.

When I was in school, I was a victim of bullying. There were days when I would seek privacy in the quiet corners of the school as I broke down in tears, wondering “how much more do I need to go through?”

I opened up to the school counsellor, hoping that it could stop the bullying. The counsellor lodged a report discreetly to the management, but no action was taken against the bullies. However, when the bullies found out what I had done, they began to be more aggressive.

They saw me as someone weaker than they initially thought. They succeeded in convincing my schoolmates to distance themselves from me.

In retrospect, I thought it was not a bad idea for the school not to suspend or expel any of the bullies. My experience of being bullied could have been worse; I might have appeared weaker if the school had taken sterner action against them.

At the time, I was also unsure whether I could sustain further pain. I had thought of switching schools, but I could not resist the triumphant thought of finishing my studies at the same school.

A few years later, the bullying stopped. I think it stopped simply because the seniors, who tormented everybody at the school, had left. When the seniors were still in school, there were days that even my bullies were harmed. I was relieved none of them had to be hospitalised or experience permanent injuries. I think they had hit and mocked me as means to escape from their own suffering of being bullied by the seniors.  What they did was wrong.  But then, I doubt a lot of children can adequately handle hardship. Those who can absorb the bullying just suffer in silence, while some seek out their own victims to bully.

When I reflect on Nhaveen’s death, I see two issues that schools and the authorities need to address to combat child bullying.

First, who can the victim trust? When I discussed my problems with the school counsellor, I initially hesitated to give the names of my bullies (in the end, I did). I did not want them to become suspended, expelled or arrested. As long as I was not hospitalised due to bullying, I always hope that they would stop bullying me without being punished by the school.

This hope leads to the second issue; can counselling help? Schools and the authorities have to tackle the stigma that students who seek help are weak. I acknowledge the difficulty in engaging with teenagers, but I hope that this tragedy will spur schools and the authorities to be more proactive in helping out “the bullied who becomes the bully”.

In child bullying, both the victim and the bully need help, and we should lend them a helping hand as early as we can. – June 28, 2017.

* Rasyad Razin is a public policy analyst who graduated in 2015 with a degree in Economics and Statistics from the University of Michigan.

* This is the opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insight. Article may be edited for brevity and clarity.