PARENTS must cultivate healthy relationships within the family and allow safe conversations about sex, experts said, following police findings of sex addiction among children.

Educators said the problem stemmed from children perceiving a lack of love and belonging at home or when they fail to receive answers about sex from their parents.

Police sexual, women and child investigation division assistant director Siti Kamsiah Hassan told Harian Metro recently that nine in 10 troubled teenage girls interviewed admitted to being addicted to sex.

It was also found that some girls were offering sexual services for RM50, not necessarily for the money but for their own pleasure.

Sex counsellor and therapist Chew Chee Khiong said sex addiction may start with the wrong experience, such as a child having their genitals touched by someone.

“They may later seek to relive the feeling that they remembered from childhood,” Chew told The Malaysian Insight.

He asked parents to be open with their children and willing to have conversations about healthy sex.

“Parents have no excuse to say that they don’t know how to have these conversations as there are guides and help available online with information to help their children’s growth.

“Take the initiative to chat with the children to understand their thoughts,” Chee added.

Schools and the education authorities need to share responsibility too.

“More teachers should be encouraged to teach sex education so that the youth have the right knowledge,” Chew said.

Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality Kuala Lumpur and Selangor president Ngoh Chee Meng said family relationships influenced a child’s wellbeing.

He said a strong parent-child relationship is a foundation that will prevent many problems later in the child’s life, including sex addiction.

“If parental discipline is strong, the child will seek healthy relationships with others outside of the family. “

Ngoh also encouraged parents to allow a safe space for conversations about sex from the time the children are young.

“The attitude of the parents towards sex will determine the child’s attitude towards sex.

“If you are shy and remain silent, the child will not talk to you but others to relieve their troubles,” Ngoh said.

He asked parents not to blindly prohibit their children from accessing the internet or stop them from having a relationship but to discuss the situations openly and calmly.

“Before you say no, have you taught your children what is good? For example, if they are not to fall in love, have you taught them how to get along with the opposite sex? Or what can they do when they know they have done something wrong, who should they call for help?”

He emphasised that sex education is a situational approach to train children for good decision-making when they find themselves in situations involving sex.

Psychologist Alice Lee said that there are three levels of sex addiction.

The first level of addiction involves masturbation as a way to avoid negative feelings.

“They will search for orgasm to avoid feeling down or getting anxious,” she said.

The second level involves assaulting others, such as “flashing” or taking sneak shots; the third and most serious level is when offences such as rape, incest and abuse occur.

“It’s similar to gambling and drug addictions where they cannot control themselves,” Lee said.

She said victims of sex addiction may be feeling empty internally or have feelings of low self-worth.

“They cannot satisfy themselves so they look for others ways of stimulation. And like other addictions, sex addiction can be cured by treatment that can last for six months to two years.

“It is important to look at the severity of the addiction. If it is serious, it is best to have family help, because family support is useful for all addiction treatments,” she said.

She added that healthy communication between parents and children is an important part of the treatment process.

Lee has dealt with sex addiction in both genders.

In all her cases, her patients used orgasm as a way to suppress pain and anxiety. – October 20, 2021.