RECENTLY, I had the honour of having a fictional conversation with Malaysia over rojak and cendol at my usual favourite “bawah pokok” spot in my hometown of Bandar Baru Bangi.

After wolfing down two plates of rojak and a bowl of cendol with pulut, I got cracking into the mind of the mysterious and elusive Malaysia – an enigmatic figure even by those who swear loyalty to it, myself included.

Azmyl: Hi Malaysia! Welcome! It’s an honour to have you here. Have you been to Bandar Baru Bangi before?

Malaysia: It’s my pleasure! I mean it’s OUR pleasure. No, it’s my first time honestly. The name I’ve heard many times – according to people who live in the Klang Valley, especially Petaling Jaya, it’s a very boring place.

A: Well, haha, I beg to differ from that opinion. I think this town is the best kept secret and I like to keep it that way. Haha yes, there’s no ‘I’ in Malaysia, correct?

M: Yes, indeed. We are an entity of entities – we’re made up of such diverse groups that the British couldn’t fit us all into a form! So, they came up with way too simplified and very misleading categories that made sense to them.

A: Categories? Can you elaborate?

M: Well, look at how the officialese categories of ‘race’ that tend to appear in our forms: Malay, Chinese, Indian and others. ‘Others’ or ‘lain-lain’? What is ‘others’? How did we arrive at relegating smaller ethnic groups into a broad faceless category of ‘others’? Imagine if you were Dayak, Kadazan or Sikh. It goes back to how those colonial powers were perplexed at our diversity, that’s how it all began.

A: We seldom get to hear your opinion on this matter even though Malaysians generally do talk about it over teh tarik or dinners. I know for a fact that Malaysians in Sabah and Sarawak tend to feel sidestepped when it comes to our national narratives.

M: And can you blame them? I’m just too diverse to fit into those annoying boxes and be pigeonholed. Even ‘Malays’ are a construct: the ‘Malay world’ is made of so many different ethnic groups themselves; it’s impossible to say something or someone is just ‘Malay’. Look at yourself: you are in official documents a ‘Malay’, correct? But can you trace your ancestry?

A: Yes, I am categorically a ‘Malay’. And yes, I have Javanese, Minangkabau and Bugis ancestry.

M: There you go! I rest my case. All Malays should get acquainted with our neighbours, Indonesia and the Philippines, to understand what the ‘Malay world’ truly stands for. Hint: it’s not what most Malaysian Malay leaders say it is. Heck, even our filmmakers and musicians continue to struggle to find the ‘Malaysian identity’ in their works.

A: I can’t say I disagree with you!

M: Let me ask you: how many ‘states’ are there in Malaysia?

A: Um, 13 states and three federal territories?

M: Ahah! Caught you there! Sorry, that’s incorrect. Sabah and Sarawak are equal partners in forming Malaysia with the Malayan states – Singapore was, too, but they, well, ‘quit the band’ so to say.

A: Really? But that’s what I was taught in school? I went to both public and private school and this fact seems to be consistent.

M: Well, learning is lifelong and beyond schools, right? You must always question official narratives. Like most biographies, there are unofficial biographies and there are autobiographies. When did you go to school if you don’t mind me asking?

A: I started schooling in 1984 and finished high school with my SPM (Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia) in 1994.

M: Ahh, I see – you are a product of the KBSM (Kurikulum Bersepadu Sekolah Menengah) system – the ‘golden years’ of Malaysia’s prosperity under el capitan Dr Mahathir.

A: Yes, completely. I guess my generation only had one consistent prime minister photo on our school walls throughout our primary and high school years!

M: Indeed! And your generation also never enjoyed Malaysia Day as a public holiday, correct?

A: Yes, we only had August 31 and the other usual holidays. September 16 was just another day to my generation up until I was in my 30s. Suddenly, in 2010, Malaysia Day became a public holiday. I’m not complaining!   

M: Well, I’m glad you aren’t complaining because Malaysia Day is just as significant as Independence Day, if not more, since that’s the date when the entity you’re looking at here now became Malaysia. For decades, nobody celebrated my birthday!

A: To be honest, I never really enjoyed history as a subject in school because it was just all about memorising dates. I’m sure I memorised September 16 but as you can see, its significance was downplayed. My interest in history really stemmed from how little I really knew about your history and origins. The more I dug into it, the more compelling you seemed.

M: Well, as they say ‘history is written by the victor’ and the official history of any nation-state is naturally skewed to the victor’s narrative. You could say my ‘real’ history is for me to know and for you to find out. I’m just happy you took the effort to dig into my biography!

A: Anyway, since an opportunity such as this is rare, I’d like to wish personally with you Happy 58th birthday! I have a gift for you.

M: Awww, terima kasih! A gift? Wow, thanks!

(At this moment, I opened the YouTube app on my smartphone and passed the phone to Malaysia to show my latest song and music video directed by my students called Orang Kita.)

A: I hope you enjoyed it!

M: Very much! Terima kasih again! Yes, that idiom ‘orang kita’ is so divisive! You are all Malaysian – not Melayu, Chinese Malaysian or whatever – just Malaysian. Thank you for doing this.

A: My pleasure! It’s the least I can do as a gift for you.

M: Sorry, I have a tight schedule, I have to go soon, my Grab is on the way. This was very brief but meaningful. So happy to visit this town for the first time; it won’t be my last for sure. Thank you again for taking some time and effort to celebrate me, I mean ‘us’… Most of the mainstream media celebrations are very square and poyo, haha.

We then proceeded to take an standard operating procedure-compliant selfie together, which Malaysia requested to not share on social media. Let us heed Malaysia’s call to refer to ourselves as Malaysian first and everything else second. 

Happy Malaysia Day everyone! – September 17, 2021.

* Azmyl Yunor is a touring underground recording artiste, and an academic in media and cultural studies. He has published articles on pop culture, subcultures and Malaysian cultural politics. He adheres to the three-chords-and-the-truth school of songwriting, and Woody Guthrie’s maxim “All you can write is what you see”. He is @azmyl on Twitter.

* This is the opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insight. Article may be edited for brevity and clarity.