DR Khairuddin Aman Razali, a PAS Member of Parliament for Kuala Nerus shared an outstanding discovery with everyone in the country a few days ago when he said that watching Western films contributes to the rise in babies born out of wedlock.

He raised this issue during the Budget 2018 allocation debate to the communications and multimedia ministry in Parliament.

Blaming the National Film Development Corporation Board (Finas) of not doing enough in its censorship process, Khairuddin claimed that Western films with sexual and liberal elements are promoting a hedonistic lifestyle which does not suit the Malaysian culture and norms, hence contributing to babies born out of wedlock.

I must admit that I was dumbfounded when I read Khairuddin’s statement at first, for my level of intelligence was not up to those of the wise MP. But hey, what is life if not a series of learning process, eh?

And so, thanks to Khairuddin, I learned something new – Western films promote out-of-wedlock babies.

Perhaps those who are making a mockery of Khairuddin’s statement on social media also do not possess the needed intellectual capability to digest his findings.

Lately we have been reminded quite often by our esteemed leaders of how little we know about things.

Last week, Ahmad Shabery Cheek, the minister of Agriculture and Agro-based Industry, made a mind-blowing statement in Parliament when he said that durians have aphrodisiac value which could stimulate sexual desire.

I do wonder if Ahmad Shabery knew that, just like durians, Western films could also stimulate sexual desire which contributes to babies born out of wedlock?

Imagine the effect of watching western films while enjoying durians – definitely more out of wedlock babies, I tell you!

I suggest our leaders make it a point to present this in the next Parliament meeting because you know, this sort of things are of great importance to the wellbeing of our country and deserve to be discussed at national level.

This reminds me of the decision made by the Kelantan Government last year to allow cinemas to be reopened in the state, granted it adheres to the gender segregation guideline, among others. Apparently the state representatives were fearful of ‘social ills’ if different genders sitting together were allowed.

I bet the ‘social ills’ they refer to includes making out of wedlock babies.

Oh dear! Imagine the effect of watching western films while seated next to someone of a different gender – more out of wedlock babies!

That’s another thing to be highlighted in the Parliament. Please take note, ministers.

On second thought, imagine the effect of watching western films while seated next to someone of a different gender who just ate durians – definitely even more out of wedlock babies!

Honestly, I can’t tell you how thankful I am to have learnt all these new things from our wise leaders. May God bless them all.

Now that we know watching Western films, consuming durians and sitting next to someone of a different gender could increase the chances of having babies out of wedlock, I would like to contribute a small discovery of mine, hoping to assist our country in fighting this ‘social illness’ our leaders seem to be so worried about.

I have discovered a simple way to prevent out of wedlock babies.

Use condoms.

There. Problem solved.

Now could someone share my discovery in Parliament?

I do have a humble request though. Since Khairuddin has demonstrated such wisdom in sharing his discovery regarding out of wedlock babies with Malaysia, would he also do us a favour by sharing his insight on what contributes to the rise in politicians talking rot in Parliament.

I bet many of my fellow Malaysians would really love to know as well. – November 30, 2017.

* Fa Abdul is a passionate storyteller and a resident agitator of the idiots in society. Well-known for her straight-talking sarcasm and occasional foul mouth, she juggles between her work as a writer, producer and director.

* This is the opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insight. Article may be edited for brevity and clarity.