THE Malaysian political scene is always one that is too incredible to be true.

It is repeatedly unpredictable, funny and stupid.

So far-fetched that it can get embarrassing even for a third-world country like Malaysia, whose current woes evolve around plastic waste problems, river contamination and racial innuendoes.

For the thinking community who bags home only 50% of their take home salary (as a couple), with no rights to Bantuan Sara Hidup, or MySalam Insurance, we ponder on a daily basis if there is ever going to be an end to the Umno contemporary circus.

I had to pinch myself over and over again, to check and double check if the return of the Najib-Zahid “Terrible Two” is for real, and that I hadn’t zoned off into some hallucination mode.

I mean, dude, have the Umno folks been smoking weed or are they really daft? Zahid, who went on bended knees, pleading for his passport to perform his 31st pilgrimage a few months ago – comes back with his ever-smiley face, feeling elated and confident of winning the next election.

No wonder his nickname is “Comedy”. I would buy his stand-up comedy show, just to destress from time to time. It is probably cheaper than the Thai Odyssey full body oil massage for total relaxation.

Not only that, armoured with Pentium-4 powered brain, Umno’s leadership members had collectively agreed to bring back the “billion dollar thief” as top adviser. And just like that, The Terrible Two were accorded a second lease of life.

Speechless.

Never mind that together they recorded 42 + 87 amount of charges of abuse of power, grafts, money laundering, etc.

Never mind that the RM2.6 billion 1MDB case is still ongoing.

Never mind that they used the GST money to patch up holes everywhere in the accounting books and repeatedly say it wasn’t stolen.

It looks like their religion permits them to deceive and steal to live on luxuries derived from abuse of power, for as long as they do not eat pork or consume alcohol.

If this is their philosophy, this must be deemed the Umno way of life, not Islam, but

Umno.

The way of life that it is absolutely legitimate to deceive and manipulate the rakyat, so that they can lower their anchor at the French Riviera, sunbathe on 300-foot-long yacht and party all night long.

The way of life that encourages stealing billions of ringgit transacted in a sophisticated and complicated manner, for as long as it is not stealing a loaf of Gardenia bread, captured on a CCTV.

Smitten rural folks must continue to receive hand-outs and dazed into believing that the government is continuously taking care of them. Doesn’t matter where the money comes from!

For as long as you keep repeating in court the mantra “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know… it wasn’t me, it was everyone else’s fault except mine” – you should be OK.

The way I see it, Umno’s kickback and corrupt practices are rather acceptable for the lazy, forgetful and ungrateful bunch of people.

Umno’s golden age phenomenon is right now at its peak. Rekindling with the personas that brought the Malay party down, first time in history, is absolutely the way forward to losing the next election.

In a way, I should be glad.

If their folly continues at this cadence, the Malaysian economy will finally rise to what it was decades ago, before the billion dollar thief and his botoxified wife were given carte blanche to wreck our finances. – July 13, 2019.

* Sairana Mohd Saad reads The Malaysian Insight.