BEFORE the May 9 elections, I shared a meaningful conversation with a retired diplomat who had represented Malaysia in several countries during his illustrious and decades-long career.

His stories were peppered with heart-warming experiences of meeting Malaysians of all creed and colour, and it was clear he had a great love and pride for this country.

But when we spoke about the future of Malaysia, his voice turned to one of dejection.

The growing schism between the races, the threat of religious fundamentalism and the apparent unbridled power of the Barisan Nasional leadership appeared to us both to be ingredients for the ultimate downfall of the country we loved.

But it was the bitter degeneration of racial relations – which he believed was state-sanctioned – that troubled him most.

Towards the end of our conversation, he admitted that during the last few years of his service abroad, he had on many occasions met high-ranking Malaysian professionals who wanted to know if they should give up their careers and go home.

Most of them were Malaysians from ethnic minority communities.

“Obviously, we were expected to encourage all Malaysians to return home, to serve their country,” he told me as he stared into his coffee.

“But I just couldn’t tell them that, not when I knew what they would be going home to.”

Having no desire to discourage them from their desire to return, he simply told them to be ready to see the nation with “eyes wide open”.

“I told them that they will be going home to a country they love, but which doesn’t love them back.”

His advice stemmed not only from his observations of the gradual decline of his beloved nation, but also from his personal experience of institutionalised racism on many occasions during his years of service.

Malaysians who have never been told to go back to the countries of their ancestors simply for voicing out against the decay taking place in the government will be tempted to criticise the words of this senior envoy.

Malaysians who have never been constantly told that they will never be, nor should even hope to be, equal in the eyes of the constitution, will be tempted to loathe and dismiss as “unpatriotic” the advice he gave those starry-eyed overseas Malaysians.

Malaysians who have never had to learn to manoeuvre around a system that is not to their benefit, and who chose to love this country in spite of everything its former leaders threw at us, will not understand the heart of this former diplomat.

Malaysians who have never had to make the painful decision between staying in the only home they have ever known, or leaving so that their children can finally be citizens of a country that embraces and values them, will call this man a traitor.

But for the roughly 30% of Malaysians, his words were simply our truth.

For many ethnic minorities, feeling like the only country we have ever loved does not, and may never, love us back in the same way has been our narrative.

Like scorned lovers, we have grown accustomed to being feted only when our votes are needed.

But in GE14, many of us see hope of a rekindled, stronger relationship that can be forged in the new Malaysia.

I have yet to speak to the former envoy since May 9, but I believe that when I do, he will share my joy and hope that a colour-blind Malaysia can truly come to pass in our lifetime.

GE14 reminds us to never underestimate the passion of Malaysians to bring this nation to greatness, to build a Malaysia where my race, my religion and my gender does not denote my worth and rights as a citizen.

A Malaysia that will love me back with the same fervour as I have for her. – June 18, 2018.

* Julia Yeow has been in journalism for two decades and counts it as her first love, despite enjoying brief stints as a lecturer, clown and salad maker. She is a strong believer in social justice, and holds that there is sometimes more truth in the greys, than the blacks and whites.

* This is the opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insight. Article may be edited for brevity and clarity.