NANI  (not her real name) was only 18 when she found out that she was pregnant out of wedlock with her ex-boyfriend’s child.

She sat for her Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) not knowing she was with child.

The teenager said she only found out about the pregnancy after a friend advised her to see a doctor at the end of April.

“I was very scared. I panicked, not knowing how to face my family,” she told The Malaysian Insight.

“My friend told me to go home and calm down before telling my mother.”

Nani was put under the care of Raudhah Sakeenah Kelantan (RSK), a home for teenage girls pregnant out of wedlock.

Her life, she said, is much calmer now.

She is the fourth of six siblings and her family is not rich. Her mother works as a clerk while her father is self-employed and has remarried.

After her parents’ divorce, Nani said she lived with her mother and occasionally, her grandfather.

“Until today, my father does not  know about my situation,” she said.

The young girl is relieved that she did not listen to her family’s advice to marry her ex-boyfriend, who is her age.

“My mother wanted me to marry him, but I didn’t want to.”

On her future plans, Nani said she is waiting for her SPM results and the birth of her child before making plans

“I just want to focus on my recovery and wait to give birth. I might not further my studies; I might start working and look after my child.

“If there is a chance later, maybe I will continue my studies,” she said.

Marriage not the answer

Professor Dr Dasmawati Mohamad, a board member of RSK, said there are many girls in Nani’s situation in the home.

Dasmawati said the home was set up in 2014 by the non-profit group Ikram Malaysia.

The Universiti Sains Malaysia lecturer said the home was set up to help teenagers in the state who required moral guidance.

“Social problems are prevalent in the east coast. What we had was a shelter for battered women and children, which was not suitable for the work we do.

“After RSK was set up, we now hear of other centres with the same goal that have been set up by the state government,” she said.

Many unmarried teenage girls who find themselves pregnant are often emotionally fragile and easily taken in by their boyfriends’ promises, Dasmawati said.

Like Nani, many of such teens come from broken homes.

“These teenagers are easily swayed, they are fragile and soft. That’s why we tell them they have to have principles in life, know where to draw the line.

“Oftentimes, we realise that they were not given enough attention,  especially when the parents divorced or the father remarried and no longer paid attention to the children of the first wife.

“In other instances, the mother ran away and the girls were left in the care of the grandparents. If we take a closer look, the root of these social problems start at home,” she said.

Dasmawati said RSK is working hard to change the idea that the solution to teen pregnancy is to marry the girl to the child’s father to avoid shaming the family.

“Marriage is not the solution; they need to improve and work on themselves first.

“Here, we teach how to go about life so they don’t repeat the same mistakes,” she said.

RSK has six residents now but it can house up to 20.

The girls stay at the home for about six months and are aged 16 to 25.

“We have even had a case of a pregnant 12-year-old who gave birth when she turned 13.”

Dasmawati said the centre will guide the girls on moral values as well as religion while also counselling them.

“Before they come here, we will screen them first and get to know them. Most of them have never prayed so the first thing we do is to teach them to recite the Quran.

Dasmawati said the centre can give the girls a new lease on life.

“Even after they leave, they still have good ties with us, with the wardens especially.

“They live life normally; some get married and they invite us to their weddings. There are even those who want to come back and work as wardens.

“We even have girls who get their family’s support to further their studies in Syria.” – June 9, 2022.