WHEN Ili Nadirah discovered she was pregnant, her initial feelings of shame and fear of being shunned by family and friends soon gave way to a different fear – that she might not be able to keep her then-unborn child.

“Throughout my pregnancy, I did not go to a government clinic for check-ups because I was scared,” said 23-year-old Ili, who is unmarried and works as a receptionist.

But the young Muslim girl from Meru, Klang, had no choice but to have her baby at a government hospital because she couldn’t afford a private hospital.

“I was really afraid that it would get complicated if I delivered at a government hospital. I thought there would be very difficult conditions for me to keep my baby because I was not married,” she told The Malaysian Insight.

She was relieved when she found out that hospital staff not only gave her advice on how to care for her child, but supported her decision not to give the baby up.

“The first question I asked my doctor after giving birth was if I would be allowed to take care of my baby. Thankfully, they had no problems with that and even encouraged me to care for my own child,” said Ili, whose baby just turned one last week.

Ili’s early fears echo that of most single, Muslim women here who find themselves pregnant.

Most fear punishment by religious authorities if they were to deliver at government hospitals, or worse, that they would be forced to give up their child for adoption.

This fear was what prompted 23-year-old Dayana Hakimi to decide to deliver at a private hospital in Kuala Lumpur in June last year, even though she knew she couldn’t afford it with her RM800 monthly salary.

“Friends told me that there was a private hospital that was suitable for cases of babies born out of wedlock. So, I was willing to pay thousands,” she said.

Despite having to empty out her and her boyfriend’s savings, and borrowing from friends to pay the RM2,500 cost of delivery, Dayana said she didn’t want to risk being punished by religious authorities, or face difficulties in registering her child.

“I heard people saying that if I delivered at a government hospital, I might be caught and jailed. And they would hand my child over to the social welfare department (JKM).”

Between 2005 and 2015, a total of 532,158 children were born out of wedlock, according to statistics from the National Registry Department, or JPN.

Women’s groups say the actual numbers are much higher, and most births go unrecorded as the unwed mothers will choose to deliver at private hospitals, which are not obligated to report cases of children born out of wedlock, or choose home births to avoid being exposed.

At Hospital Sungai Buloh alone, more than 20 children born out of wedlock are registered every month. The majority of these unwed mothers are Malays, said hospital authorities.

Hospital director Dr Khalid Ibrahim debunked rumours that religious authorities would be alerted in cases involving Muslim women, adding that hospital authorities only needed to report cases to JKM when the mother was underage.

“The hospital will only refer certain cases to JKM. The religious authorities have absolutely no right to any information,” he said.

Dr Khalid said only when a family decide they do not want to care for the child would the authorities become involved.

“We will bring the child through the process of adoption. Sometimes, if the mother already has a family in mind to give the child to, the department of medical social work will interview the family.”

Dr Khalid also stressed that there was no difference between a government hospital and private hospital when it came to obtaining a birth certificate for the child.

“The private hospitals charge thousands, but the results are the same. After giving birth, we will give the mother all the necessary documents to register her child at JPN.

“It is the same for all children, except in these cases, the father’s information will be left out. But it’s the same even with private hospitals,” he said.

Despite the hefty bills and subsequent debt she finds herself in today, Dayana said she doesn’t regret going to the private hospital to deliver her daughter, who will turn one in June.

“In the early days of my pregnancy, I even tried to induce a miscarriage. I really regret that, and I’m glad my daughter didn’t suffer any side effects from the things I did to my body.”

But she said she won’t have to regret losing her child, which she still believes was a possibility had she given birth at a government facility.

And for her, it is one less regret she will have to live with for the rest of her life. – May 22, 2017.