THE government seems to think we are all a confused lot. There is apparently a proposal to regulate brand names that started simply because an alcoholic drink is named Timah, which translates to “tin” in English from Bahasa Malaysia.

Regardless of the fact that Timah is also the abbreviated name for Fatimah, one needs to ask how that in itself can confuse anyone that the drink is non-alcoholic or in any way disrespectful.

But let’s, for a moment, assume that we are all really easily confused and overly sensitive to anything and everything.

First off, get rid of Maggi since Maggi can be an abbreviated name for Maggie or Margaret. Maggi is “fast to cook, good to eat”, so are we eating a woman? Just asking, as I am confused. What makes me even more muddled is that the bible refers to the three wise men as the Magi; is there a subversive plot to convert all of us to Christianity now?

Are we then eating bits of a man named Ramly when we order a Ramly burger? I have never thought of that before, but now that I do, I am confused. And roti John has left me even more wary and confused.

While we are at it, please get rid of Horlicks as I am already having terrible mental images and getting even more confused.

Also, what about Bata, the shoe shop? I mean “bata” means “brick” in Bahasa Malaysia, so why is the shop selling shoes? I am confused.

When I was a student, making baked goods using a secret recipe meant that the goods contain weed or marijuana. Today, the term “secret recipe”, when used as slang, has an entirely new meaning that is rather disgusting. I will let you check it out on Google.

Let’s have a look at some of our major public-listed companies and see how far the confusion can go.

Is Maybank a bank? Or does it merely want to be a bank, like may be a bank. Perhaps it is open only in May and closed the rest of the year. I have been banking with it for 40 years, but now I am confused on what it is.

How about Magnum? Is it a company, an ice-cream or a gun? How now?

Hap Seng tends to sound like Yam Seng, which we all know is coercion to drink, and drink alcohol to boot. So confusing.

Dutch Lady Milk. Wait, what? Are we drinking Dutch milk? What about local milk? And it is not from a cow? Oh no! What do we do now?

And let’s not get started on the names of some places in our beloved country. I spent years looking for earrings in Subang and was disappointed that there was no good widow at Janda Baik – two examples of the confusion caused by names of places.

While the above is rather stupid, ridiculous and laughable – perhaps even frivolous – it is no less than what we are being subjected to with this proposal to regulate brand names.

It appears that we are heading in the direction where anything and everything can be deemed confusing, offensive and sensitive. This is indeed a slippery slope.

What the government needs to do is tell all those confused and offended to grow up, be more accepting and realise that not everything is a conspiracy. And while at it, I think politicians pandering to these notions should do the same.

We are after all a multiracial and multireligious country, where the majority are sensible and not easily confused, unlike how the politicians make us out to be.

Some say we should just ignore the idiocy of the issue and that it is not even worth debating. But, the problem is, where does it end? First it is brand names, perhaps next it is food items, maybe even moving to regulating what we can or cannot say.

We are given minds to figure things out ourselves, and not have someone decide everything for us. Stop trying to control everything. There are more important issues for the government to spend its time on fixing, not least the economy and well-being of the people. So, please, go focus on that instead. – October 31, 2021.

* Dharm Navaratnam reads The Malaysian Insight.

* This is the opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insight. Article may be edited for brevity and clarity.