THE renowned Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran remarks, “Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution”.

This to a large extent sums up the person His Eminence Anthony Soter Fernandez was to many people. To me, apart from his tender and kind nature which I experienced in so many ways, he was man of paradoxes – small in stature yet assertive in presence; unafraid to stand up for a just cause but always ready to back down if reconciliation was attainable; quick to reprimand when things went wrong but never far from putting his arms around the shoulder of someone in pain; loved his spicy food but mindful and willing to compromise if the other had a weak stomach; if he had something important to announce or a task to assign, he always enquired after your wellbeing first.

This was the unique nature of the man that I got to know and much admired over the years.

Many will remember his legacy as being the first Malaysian the pope had honoured with the title of cardinal but in truth, honorary titles mattered little to him as a person. I am told that he had
in the past declined other titles that were offered to him probably knowing they were no measures of a man.

I remember vividly my first encounter with him when he was the bishop of Penang. He exuded an aura that emanated not from being the bishop but from being a caring and generous father figure – a persona he carried off spectacularly with his cherubic face and warm smile.

One of the funniest encounters I had with Cardinal Soter was when I once stood ahead of him in a queue. I felt a sudden tap on my back and instinctively turned around. For a split second, due to the height difference, I did not see anyone at my eye-level. It was only as I looked down that I realised it was the archbishop of Kuala Lumpur. His quick witted response was, “I have to look up to you all the time”. My spontaneous reply: “I certainly don’t look down on you!”

While it was an in-the moment remark made in jest, it rings true of my view of the great man. His strength, simplicity and humility towered above many others in positions of leadership and influence. 

In remembering His Eminence, I find it most fitting to draw from another Gibran quote where he states, “Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens”.

Cardinal Soter, as he was fondly known, exemplified this. Not only was able to share his good qualities with others, he also had the knack of bringing out the best in others. He possessed qualities and discernment that no institution could ever teach or impart. He had the capacity to relate to life, to people and to all issues that came his way with wisdom, perseverance and fortitude. 

Now the time has come for him to look down on me from the great heavens above, probably grumbling about all the fuss over the arrangements for his funeral.

For someone who shunned all pomp and glory, the private and quiet funeral likely bore true witness to the person he was. It was certainly not the final farewell most of us would have desired for him given his illustrious life not only as a prince of the church as a tender and kind man who was loved by many.

The great Christian theologian St Augustine said, “No eulogy is due to him who simply does his duty and nothing more”. On this occasion, I would like to paraphrase those words to say, “no eulogy would suffice and do justice to him who simply gave his all for family, Church, and country. For it is his life that speaks, not his death”.

Tenderness, kindness, simplicity and humility — qualities that were earthed in his Christian faith, qualities that clothed his life so richly. With his passing may we too seek to put on afresh, in our own lives and the life of our nation and world, the qualities Cardinal Soter embodied. Let that be part of his legacy, part of our tribute.

Rest in peace Cardinal Soter. The memories you leave behind will be fondly remembered and cherished by me and many others too, surely! – October 30, 2020.

* Dr Clarence Devadass is a Catholic priest and director of the Catholic Research Centre in Kuala Lumpur.

* This is the opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insight. Article may be edited for brevity and clarity.