OVER the weekend, a series of political manouverings left Malaysians at home and abroad reeling in disbelief, struck by a sense of helplessness familiar to voters in the last few decades of Barisan Nasional rule.

Talk of power grabs and political frogs jumping has evoked a dreaded sense of déjà vu even among the most optimistic voters, a group I confess to be part of.

I have always taken great pride in my privilege to vote in the last four general elections, despite having some of the earlier romanticism dulled by more than 20 years working as a journalist.

In spite of the many times the previous government all but mocked the ideals of justice, transparency and equality, I and many others like me continued to believe that good governance, equal opportunities and unfettered progress were really attainable. All we needed were determination, luck and more than just a little bit of patience.

Before the 2018 elections, Malaysian voters had little choice but to put up with the antics, corruption and abuse of power that came with a government that had ruled unchallenged for almost 60 years.

We shouted, rallied, and looked to civil society leaders and the rare few independent politicians to give voice to our grievances, but above all, we remained patient and dared to believe in better days to come.

And then the 14th general election happened, and we celebrated our new government leaders who came sweeping into Parliament with promises that the past would never repeat itself.

We dared to believe that our wait was over, and as a people, we would finally be able to get down to the work of healing our nation.

But, last weekend proved that we will have to wait a little bit longer.

Cracks in Pakatan Harapan started appearing even before it won the elections. Infighting and power struggles all showed the inability of the pact’s members to agree on almost anything, except that they had wanted to storm Putrajaya and take over.

The long-suffering Malaysian voter, whose imagination had been captured by the promise of a new era, initially forgave these indiscretions as “teething problems”, and we convinced ourselves that PH was “still better than the old government”.

And so, the enduring voter remained patient, hoping and waiting for PH to finally grow into its new role and do what it was voted in for – to govern and lead our country back to greatness.

Yesterday, barely 21 months after the historic elections, reality has hit home. Last weekend’s debacle stank of the same arrogant, selfish and dishonourable attitude that was characteristic of the BN government that we booted out.

As what looks like a very badly planned game of political chess plays out in the Malaysian landscape, what has become clear is that those we voted into power have failed us.

Instead of protecting the least among us, they are intent on protecting their own interests; instead of boldly steering the country out of the economic and political mess it has been engulfed in for too long, they are intent on employing all means to stay in power.

When GE14 happened, the long-suffering voter was so desperate to believe that we finally had leaders in power who would work for the greater good of the country.

All we are left with now is the anger and heartache of betrayal.

Nobody knows yet what will come out of this debacle, and if Malaysia will indeed see yet another change of government, and one that does not have the people’s mandate. But one thing we do know is that the long-suffering voter will not stay beaten down by this seemingly hopeless situation.

We’ve gone through decades of disappointment in our so-called leaders, and throughout the years of gerrymandering and wrongdoings, we remained resilient and resolute in our fight for a better Malaysia.

In this latest saga, we will be no different, because our optimism and belief in a Malaysia that we can all be proud of are independent of the leaders who somehow always seem to fail us.

So, to all the other long-suffering voters, let us nurse the wounds of our disappointment, anger, heartache and utter disgust at this betrayal of our trust.

And then, let us pick ourselves up again, because the battle ahead for a better Malaysia remains a long one. – February 25, 2020.

* Julia Yeow has been in journalism for two decades and counts it as her first love, despite enjoying brief stints as a lecturer, clown and salad maker. She is a strong believer in social justice, and holds that there is sometimes more truth in the greys, than the blacks and whites.

* This is the opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insight. Article may be edited for brevity and clarity.