POOR Dr Maszlee Malik. My unsolicited advice to him is, don’t give lengthy interviews in the future. Just ask members of the media what they want to write about, and be done with it in less than a minute. Why bother speaking for two hours when others are interested in only 30 seconds of your speech?

These days, people are so busy, with so little time available to do so many things. It all started with the tectonic shift on May 9. Before that, people kept their say. After the shift, people give what they want to say, without thinking. Evidence is aplenty.

Our prime minister has wished for 36 hours in a day. If that wish could be granted, the principle of fair play would have to be trashed because one out of 32 million would have an unfair advantage. In contrast, the people are apparently smarter by applying shortcuts to output, without need for extra hours.

Problems faced by the education system are complicated, and time-consuming to write about. Writing about shoes is straightforward. Clearly, the media has found ingenuity in shortcuts. After all, the matter of shoes is also a problem because parents, in the plural, have complained. Even if just two parents did so, Maszlee would still be correct.

Maszlee’s problem is not that he has no ideas to reform the education system, but one too many people offering ideas. One offered her mother’s advice. If the advice came bearing a secret recipe for nasi kandar, it could leave a good taste in the mouth. Advice from a mother who is not his own may leave a bitter taste in the mouths of most men.

Swallowing the bitterness was probably good for quick learning, as within 48 hours, the Education Ministry swiftly changed the timing of the black shoes policy, from early next year to within two years. The barrage fire must have come from shoe manufacturers. Ministry officials soon learnt that “cost saving” means different things to parents and manufacturers.

Malaysians can take comfort in knowing that giving their mother’s advice may be the quickest way to sway ministers’ unpopular policies.

An Umno leader was quick to criticise the decision on black shoes, saying they would be more germ-ridden than white shoes. Black equates to dirty, and therefore, attracts germs. Cleanliness is secondary. His Umno colleague, whose conjecture that education reform is coming from the feet, is even more amazing. Both politicians should be cited for their novelty in their method of constructing scientific knowledge.

Trying to outdo his political opponents, the Kepayan assemblyman displayed his mathematical prowess. He argued that black shoes would save each student 30 minutes of washing time per week. Multiply with the total number of students (4,772,995) to get 102.6 million hours, or 11,714 years, of reading time. This could raise our education standards.

His speedy conclusion jerked the hell out of my senses, and is something that, until now, I still can’t compute. If a single student uses the extra 30 minutes to play computer games, the whole premise would collapse. He assumed that black shoes need not be washed. All factors need to remain constant, and the 4.7 million students would use the extra time to read not pornographic materials, but school textbooks.

I am not suggesting this is a case of cheating with figures, because he is no accountant. His quantitative analysis ended abruptly without qualitative balancing to complete the logic, indicating another case of “quick” and shortcut thinking typical of the profession.

Those suggesting that keeping shoes white helps maintain discipline are also “quick” in their thinking. If so, the role of the discipline teacher would be redundant, and bullying in schools should be a thing of the past, not present. I am waiting for someone to suggest that in order to maintain discipline, and keep our rivers, streets and environment clean, we should all wear white.

To the keen observer, the matter of black shoes has brought forth so much delight and comic, which is a welcome change to the usual sordid, racist ramblings. My own shortcut preference is not the modern black or white, but the old Fung Keong canvas shoes that lasted based on the speed our feet grew, and when we had outgrown them, could be passed on to our younger brothers. But then, how would shoe companies survive? – August 2, 2018.

* Captain Dr Wong Ang Peng is a researcher with an interest in economics, politics, and health issues. He has a burning desire to do anything within his means to promote national harmony. Captain Wong is also a member of the National Patriots Association.

* This is the opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insight. Article may be edited for brevity and clarity.