KNOWING that a loved one is dying is painful but not being able to be by their side as they breathe their last is devastating, said people who have lost a loved one to the coronavirus.

Although the experience was painful to recall, the relatives of Covid-19 victims spoke about it with The Malaysian Insight because they did not want the deaths to be just another statistic.

Latest Covid-19 data showed 579,462 people have been infected in Malaysia, 2,867 of whom have died. And, as of May 7, more than 210 have succumbed to the virus without having any comorbidities.

Liyana in Johor remembered waving in a video call at her 62-year-old mother who was in Sungai Buloh Hospital, knowing that that would probably be the last time they spoke.

“The doctors told us that the patient needs moral support. When my mother was intubated, we were told to make a video call for her to stay strong,” the 36-year-old said.

“It was emotional, of course, not being able to be at her side but, thankfully, the doctors at the hospital were very supportive.

“On her last day however, my father decided that there would be no video call. We wanted her to go in peace. We all agreed not to make a video call,” said Liyana.

Her mother died on May 24.

Liyana’s mother was in intensive care for a week before she died. Her father and her two younger brothers were also infected but they recovered.

She said the hospital staff helped her family get through the difficult time.

“The hospital allowed the family to observe the funeral rites and even provided us with personal protection equipment (PPE) suits to attend the burial.

“Although my mother died alone, we are thankful she was given a proper farewell. She deserved it,” said Liyana.

A family in Selangor lost their sole breadwinner when the mother died from Covid-19.

Yi (not her real name) said the children were not able to speak to their mother in her last days as her condition rapidly worsened.

“We never left the home, it was just the three of us – me, my younger sister and mum. We were afraid of getting infected.

“We live close to our relatives. On April 29 our aunt, who had been sick for a long time, passed away. When we heard the news, we rushed over because this aunt was close to my mum. We helped with the funeral preparations.

Yi said several days after the funeral, her sister tested positive for the virus but their 59-year-old mother was fine.

But several days later, their mother started coughing. She was screened and found to be positive as well.

Yi quarantined herself in her room and allowed her mother and sister to have the rest of the house to themselves.

Several days later, Yi’s mother started having breathing difficulties and was taken to hospital where, days later, she was transferred to the intensive care unit (ICU) where her condition deteriorated.

“For many days, we heard one bad news after another about my mother’s condition. We could only talk to her over the phone but she couldn’t really speak because she was heavily sedated.

“On May 17 at 5am we got a call from the ICU telling us to prepare for the worst and say our goodbyes. She died at 7.30am.

“The last time I saw her was on May 11. Not being by her side was really hard.

“It’s tragic how fast everything happened. Just two weeks ago, my mum and I were having a conversation. It is really painful that she is no longer with us.

The threat is real

Another family who lost a father urged Malaysians to take heed of the standard operating procedure (SOP) seriously.

The family member who spoke to The Malaysian Insight did not want to go into details about his father’s death as he was too emotional about it.

He, however, said the public should pay more attention to the advice from the Health Ministry.

“There is a reason they tell us to stay at home. I have lost someone who is so dear to me because of this virus.

“It was very painful. You can’t hold their hands, you can’t kiss them goodbye. You can only see them through a video call.

“The virus is real, the threat is also real. If you get the chance to be vaccinated, go for it,” said the man who declined to be named. He said his father succumbed to the virus on April 20.

For Safeena, she will always remember her last video call to her father at the Sungai Buloh hospital.

“On the last day, he was on his own. He spoke like usual but we did not dare tell him he was in a serious state.

“We spoke to him like normal without crying, with the hope that some miracle may take place.

“That guilt will haunt us forever because we were not there for him when he was always there for us,” she told The Malaysian Insight.

Safeena’s 64-year-old father died on February 3.

The 40-year-old Safeena urged Malaysians to stay safe.

“I humbly request everyone who reads to do what it takes to stay safe. Let’s do this together. If you can’t do it for yourself, at least think of your loved ones.

“Don’t wait until it’s too late.” – June 2, 2021.